Longhair feedback

(Apologies to the dozens of men and women who wrote to me before it occurred to me to start posting feedback here)

6/13/00:

at many resorts in Florida, men are "required" to cut their hair short. I had to go through the humiliation as well. I hear Disney is the worst when it comes to discrimination against men with long hair. If given the choice, if I could make a good living and ware my hair the way I chose, I would grow it at least to shoulder length. why there still is discrimination in this country is beyond me. I thought the battle was won after the sixties, but apparently not in Florida and many other places. what would you recommend as far as fighting this issue?

ShadowKat

Thanks, ShadowKat.

Perhaps the most effective way for an employee of an organization that requires short hair on men to encourage them to allow long hair is to first be a model employee and always be neatly dressed and groomed, then, once you've gained the respect of managers there, work within the system to respectfully, gently, and patiently petition for change.

Men who do have long hair can help by being responsible, well groomed, and respectful toward others.

6/10/00:

I just wanted to say, I think your hair is great long. I'm a woman who loves long hair on men. Mine, however, is short. Obviously, it's easier for a woman to grow out hair from short to long. I do have one bad thing to say about your hair. I think it would look better if you cut the underneath part in the back. Or the nape, rather. It seems to give men a more clean look. Let me know what you think!

Cindy

Thanks, Cindy. I see your point, but I'm not sure if I want to cut it. I'll think about it.

6/6/00:

its worse in small towns they make fun and call you names .I had long hair down to the middle of my back but could not take the abuse so i cut it .bad choice .I miss it .

Robert Eozzo

Thanks, Robert.

4/27/00:

You recommend against maintenance cuts. While that may be true for people with straight hair, it is definitely not the case if you have curly or wavy hair (as I do). In that case, the tangles are a lot more tenacious, and sometimes simply have to be torn/cut out.

This results in different lengths of hair, and the broken strands are even more likely to tangle, causing a vicious cycle.

I let my hair grow w/o a haircut for about 15 months. This was totally a mistake. When I finally went to they stylist, she had to cut about 6 inches off the total length, just to get it all even again. Since then, I've been going about every 6 weeks, and getting just a slight trim. This results in somewhat slower growth, but my hair is way healthier.

Jordan Share

Thanks, Jordan.

4/14/00:

I need to know if and where I could find these hair bands in white. I can find packages with assorted colors but I really only need white for Cheerleader bows. My cheerleaders want the bows on ponytail holders.

Julie Scott

"Smoothies" brand ponytail bands are available in packs of 3 white-only bands. Call Intuition at 800-490-6527.

3/29/00:

I am a 16 year old boy.I am growing my hair and i think I am just entering phase 2!!!!!!! people at school keep telling me to get my hair cut it's really annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your site is a lot of help though I find it hard to buy hair bands because of my age! Shop owners look at me as if I am an alien!

Thanks for the help.....

Alex

Glad I could help, Alex. Good luck with the people at school and the shop owners!

3/23/00:

do you still have long hair ...if you do how long is it now?

Bob

Yes, I haven't cut it yet. It's about 6 inches or so longer than in the last picture. I need to get new pictures posted.

3/7/00:

Thanks so much for your tips. They are real words of moral support to help me stick to growing it long. I'd been feeling similar to your descriptions through each step; and thought I was alone. By your standards, I'm at Bad Hair Phase Stage 4 The Ponytail. I'd be further along if I hadn't bothered with those maintenance cuts.

My suggestion for some is this:

Since the end of last summer after baking in the sun and constant basting in a chlorinated pool, I have had really snarly dry ends even though I condition daily. There is my reason for the maintenance cuts. Come to find out, all I needed was a bottle of shampoo for "removing buildup and residue" from chlorine, hairspray, mouse, gel, etc. I use this twice weekly and the hair's condition is back to normal. Now that I have your tips and moral support, I can hang in there through those temptations to pick up the scissors.

Thanks again,

Mike

I'm glad the site has been helpful. Thanks for the great tip about shampoo!

2/23/00:

I am a male that has long hair. It is to the middle of my back, but does not get any longer. Do you know of any vitamins or anything that will stimulate hair growth.

Thanks

Doug Massey

There are hair vitamins available; though I don't know whether they are actually helpful. I take Rainbow Light's "Healthy Hair, Skin, & Nails" vitamins, but for all I know I'm not getting anything more than a placebo effect, if that. I would suggest asking at a drugstore or natural food store.

2/19/00:

Here's my stoy about how i grew my hair for the past 6 years:

I have VERY thick hair. My first time growing my hair out was from 1987 to 1994, but at one point it got to a certain point, it got stuck at one length. Besides my love for long hair i also love change. By the middle of 94, I totally killed it. It still grew, but I refused to trim it. In september 94 i had to shave my hair off from over processing it (straghtening, bleaching). I didn;t shave all of it off, i left a piece of it long in the front, and a tail, which i put a long extension on (to my butt). Now, the part you said about hats, NO..hats are the #1 WORST head coverings ever. My dad's brothers always wore hats, they are so balding it's not funny. Hats encourage balding. My da has a full think head of hair at 60. So X that off your list. OK, now in Dec. it was long enough to get braids put in, so i let them cut the front part off and the yail (i didn't want blonde hair with the braids).and i had them put in down past my butt. Now, I am white, but I don't care what society has to comment about me in braids. I love long hair. Besides, braiding your hair is the best way to grow your hair in. Braids keep hair on a vacation. May came and I took them out and i was very happy to see the progress of my hair. my chopped off bangs were to my nose, the rest of it was 4 inches long. Then, I had cornrows put in. after a month, they came out. I didn't like the sleek look that much anyway. I decided to have my own hair braided, and these braids I made sure stuck out in the air. With me, if it's not long, something has to make up for it. September comes and I take the braids that stuck in the air now too long to stick up, out. It was nice to have 6.5 inches of hair. but that was not long enough. This time I had the giant braids put in, and they descended past my butt. 2 months later (nov) I wanted something newer with braids. I wanted my hair blonde, but i didn't want to bleach it in the process. So, I had a weave put in. I don't know if you know what weaves are, so heres a description: my hair is braided tightly against my head, then they take hair that is stringed together, and sown onto the braids. None of my hair shows, just the blonde. After that month (at the end of Dec.) of course I wanted something new for the new year. I decided to have my hair put into Chinese wraps (when they take strings and wrap them over my real hair. I loved it. I began to learn how to do it myself to experience very different depths of styles thru the year. 1997 comes in, and gone with the wraps, and now I twist my hair (hair looks like rope) January 1997 my hair is 21 inches long. when 98 came in it's 30 inches long. So, now I decide to use my own hair. Now my hair is VERY thick, like i said. My hair may have been almost 3 feet long, but it still would hang to my shoulders. Thank goodness I love big hair, but I was annoyed after all these years, it goes to my shoulders. Even when I put oils in it, it still waved and curled up to my shoulders. I decided to go to a salon to see what they thought i should do. I didn't want braids, because i ben through all that, and i don't repeat anything. (in april) They suggested something I was afraid they'd say, and i knew they would say it. Texturizer. I allowed it, and of course it got a horrible frizz to it. (to me there is good frizz and bad frizz, this wasa the bad kind) They also trimmed it, I'd say too much. They took 6 inches off, but to me that was a year taken off. I didn't like it, so I used my all natural ginseng oil. To my surprise, by the time June came, my hair was passing my shoulders. January 99 rolled in, and it was drying to my nipples. (my hair wet and stretched always was the longest it would look....wet and stretched it went way past my nips.) I wanted another texture now, and I had them "straighten" it. this time, it stayed at a good hang length, except when they trimmed it, I was uppset, but again by march it was good. I haven't had my hair trimmed since last year, and it seems like it's not growing and looks the same length, so now I am just clipping in extensions to give it a break. there you have it i hope you enjoyed.

Willie

Thanks, Willie.

2/5/00:

Greg, I am interested in knowing if you still have your long hair. I was doing fine until I had to look for a job in December. After the first few interviews with long hair, no one was showing the slightest interest. After I got my hair cut, I landed a job in two days. Coincidence? I don't think so. Well, my hair has been growing out again since mid-December and I am looking forward to summer.

Tom Ryan

Yes, I still have long hair; I haven't cut it. I'm sorry to hear you had to cut your hair to get a job, but I'm glad to hear they don't mind your growing it out again.

12/12/99:

Hey Greg,

You can't remember me probably, but i'm the( 18 year old ) guy from Holland who sent you an email earlier this year. I followed your advice and let my hair grow. Now I'm in the " bad hair phase " I think. It really drives me crazy. What do you recommend ? Should I go to the barber and let it trim ? Or should I do nothing ... I really don't know, though it doesn't look bad. I've got blond hair, thick and very straight. I'm looking forward to your email.

btw, at the back it's longer than in front, does that matter ?? Does it have to be one lenght nessesarely ??

Michael ter Hoeven
Holland

I remember. Only you can decide whether you need trims, and it's often a difficult decision. It's normal for it to be longer in the back if you start with short hair and don't cut it. Only you can decide whether you need to have it one length.

12/2/99:

I've just recently decided to grow my hair long. I've wanted to have long hair probably all my life, but with one thing or another I never did. Well, I'm 47 now (suffering from Peter Pan syndrome I think - I don't wanna grown up...) and have finally realized that if I don't actually start, I'll never have long hair. So, here I sit waiting for it to grow, and worrying a little about the early phase. I've always worn it about 3 or 4 inches, so at least I have something to start with. I figure that by this time next year I'll have hair about like yours was in the May 1998 photo. But I'm hoping - maybe beyond all hope - to get a little more growth by that time. From everything I've read, the average hair grows about 6 inches per year. I'm hoping for maybe 8. Don't laugh. You went through it so you must know how anxious I am to get some real legth to it. Anyway, just thought I write to thank you for your article and pictures. They really do help in providing inspiration. Speaking of which, do you have any recent photos you could share. I'd really like to see the gain from the most recent photo on your web site dated April 1998.

Mike Brown

I'm glad the site has been helpful. I need to get some more recent pictures posted.

11/2/99:

hi,well i am a girl and u said don't cut it if u are growing it well if u do not cut at lest and ich of if u are growing it u will have a lot of split ends and dry ends and it would be all damaged but you will not even no it but if you do cut it it will be much much healthyer!:-) Bye Bye i hope u like my advise

P.S i am growing my hair to i know i am a girl i just throught i would help you to keep it healthyer u can also use hair vitamims they would keep your hair really really healthy PLEASE TAKE MY ADVIST IT WILL HELP YOU!!!! i am 14 from the uk

Laura Freeman

Thanks for the advice. I've been growing it for 3 years and haven't found any split ends yet. I do take hair vitamins, and I use conditioner every day. Perhaps it also depends on the hair itself.

11/4/99:

Hi, Well i am so sad because i had mine cut to my shoulders but it is growing again my mum is going to get mt Hair formula 37 it makes your hair grow about 3 times faster as it normaly does so by next year i will have it down my bum again i'll give u the site address of it it looks really good its http://rhea.safe-order.net/thehair/shop.htm its the order form but if u press some where it will tell u about it and what other people think about it see ya later oh yeah everybody has split ends what ever your hair is like so it will be much more healthy if u get it trimed every couple of months it makes it grow faster as well see ya later

Laura Freeman

Thanks, Laura.

10/16/99:

My name is Mark and I'm growing long hair. My hair is thick and frizzy. I guess we'll see what happens when it gets really long. Right now, it's about as long as yours was back in early 1998 according to your pictures. I'm afraid my hair is too thick and frizzy (alot like African American hair but not totally) that the only style I can have is a ponytail.

I've tried so many things to control my hair and nothing has worked so far. However, one thing I'm trying now seems to be working. I guess I'll see what happens in six months...

Mark

Thanks, Mark. Good luck with your hair!

10/4/99:

I am finally writing to tell you my experience. I am 40 years old and started my own business about three years ago. I have never had long hair before. Work issues had always stopped me. I hadn't planned on having long hair now, but with everything involved with getting my business started, getting a haircut wasn't on the top of the priority list. One thing led to another and here I am now with hair about a foot long. I have to say that I do like the way it looks now. Since I have come this far, I have decided to find out how long I can stand it. It was good to find your site. Again, with the business, I don't really get out much anymore and it was good to find other people who have long hair and like it. I don't feel as strange anymore. I do have one question though. I spend a lot of time outside and will often wear a ballcap. With longer hair, do you find it difficult to keep a cap on your head in the wind? If you do, do you have any suggestions on how to do it?

Tom Ryan

I'm glad the site has been helpful. I rarely wear any kind of hat, so I don't know whether it's more or less difficult.

9/5/99:

hi i just wanted to drop you a line to tell you i liked your wed page.....i started growing my hair Aug. 1996 and im a little unset (just kidding) of you because yours is longer than mine i would like to see a more recent pic.Im a old guy 45 maybe thats why well thanks again for the web page keep up the good work.

one more thing how long do you think you will grow it...your hair looks great

Bob Scott

I'll try to get new pictures up soon. I plan to grow it to terminal length.

9/4/99:

Sorry, man, but while the colors on Claire's ponytail bands are nice, they all have a fatal flaw which contributes to bad hair -- metal parts. I used those types for my first few ponytail years, and damaged my rather fine hair a lot from them, requiring more stylist maintenance and end trimming that I wanted.

My favorites now are called "Smoothies"--metal-free ponytail holders. Great colors and stipes, last a long time, can be worn on the wrist for "Standby". Made in Japan, but distributed in US by a company called Intuition, 750 LaPlaya St #621, San Francisco CA 94121 tel: 800/490-6527. Found them in beaty stupply retail shops in the Bay Area last time I was in town.

I've also found other black and dark brown metal-free ones, but don't have the brand names handy. The Smoothies have worked the best for me, however.

Long pleasures to you,

Tim Tattan

I haven't seen Smoothies around here, but I'm sending Intuition a letter asking about them. I hope to have some soon.

BTW, I used to get hair snagged in the metal clamps, but it's rare now -- less common than randomly getting hair snagged for miscellaneous reasons. I also have some without clamps, and hair sometimes comes out in them, too -- I assume because the hair that comes out in it was about to fall out anyway.

[Update: The Smoothies have arrived, and I do like them. I still haven't seen them in stores, but since then I've seen another brand in drugstores, "Cosmopolitan", which I like as well as Smoothies. Like Smoothies, they have no metal parts.]

7/16/99:

your hair care page is quite informative. in it you solicited suggestions and comments. i have one:

in your 'how to grow hair out' section you say 'be gentle' when brushing. good generalized advice, but not quite descriptive enough for most people. here is how you might want to word it:

1.)first, work your fingers through your entire head of hair to locate & remove (if possible) major snags. most tangles are usually caused by uprooted hairs that haven't fallen completely free. 2.)using a brush, work out smaller snags by starting at the very ends and work your way toward the top as you brush. do not try to force the brush through stubborn tangles- use your fingers to untangle then resume brushing. 3.)after working your way through your hair in this manner, brush your entire hair brushing from the roots to the ends- again, being careful not to rip through any possible stray tangles. 4.)once you can brush or comb through your entire head of hair without encountering tangles you are done... if you wear your hair loose it may be necessary to repeat brushing 2 or 3 times a day. it's a good idea to brush immediately before going to bed to lessen morning snarls. also, brush your hair out BEFORE showering as wet hair damages more easily.

i sincerely hope this helps. john

(btw: mastodon ribs taste better flash cooked over the fire then simmered in sauce in a 350�-400� oven *ug*)

John Sanders

Thanks, John; great advice. I'll update my site when I can.

7/4/99:

I don't have long hair (used to), but am a big long hair fan.

If I were you, I would just leave it alone and let it grow...

And I must say, it takes guts for a guy to grow his hair! And especially with that receding hairline (which I find very cute).

When I started to loose my hair, I freaked, and chopped it off (now I am shaved). Now I make up for what I don't have on top, on my face.

Steve Grossman

Thanks, Steve.

6/18/99:

I have noticed that the back of my hair grows faster then the front. My bangs are just starting to reach my eyes, but the back is past my collar. I have fine hair and haven't had a hair cut in over a year. The last hair cut I had was a buzz cut, so it was even all the way around. I don't understand why my hair grows at different levels and why it seems it grows qickly then seems to stop.

I know plenty of people with longer hair and they tell me to get it cut and it'll grow faster. I don't believe them. I don't know if I should just get the ends cut or just leave it alone and pray. Is there any more recent advice you can give me?

Chris

People who think hair grows faster if you cut it need to repeat grade-school science. There are valid reasons for trimming the ends, but accelerating the rate of growth isn't one of them.

5/28/99:

Just want to say the latest pics of your hair look great. (Before I go further - let me say this is meant only as a "straight" comment!) I must say I missed the "down" look on your April shots. That, for me anyway, is a better judge of overall length and comparisons of time vs. growth.

About 8 months ago I decided to let my very hair grow out short (most less than an inch long, the lowest parts at the "sandpaper" stage). As with anything else I do, I wanted to glean the most information as possible and searched the web. Found the Men's Long Hair Hyperboard and, as a result, your most informative web page. In fact, your website tips and pics were the final reasons I decided that I could do it! Your tips were/are extremely beneficial and I frequently refer to them for advice. As I am currently going through a "bad hair and summer humidity" phase, I thought I would check for any helpful hints. That is when I saw your April pics and just thought I would comment, not only because you took the time & effort to provide a useful service, but wanted to say the longer hair looks great. It is unfortunate, but most in our society do not realize the time, patience and prejudice a guy goes through for neatly styled long hair. No matter what it is, when a job is well done, we all need encouragement and support in one form or another.

Now, a little history before the questions: It took a couple of months of debate and the "don't take as much off this time" trims before I took the plunge to gradually schedule hair appointments up to the now 12 weeks apart (vs. every 4). In addition, I am now requesting a maximum of 1/4" off each time vs. the old 1/2" or more off per visit. My original goal was just above shoulder length, however after watching your progress, I may go for slightly longer. (On you, the longer the hair gets, the better the look. Being very fine and blond, mine may be different.) I know that to get the length quicker I should quit the trims, but working as a manager in a rather conservative company, I still feel the need to keep the hair under control as it grows out. I am willing to wait a few months longer for the final look. The length today is finally about two inches below the collar in back, just below the ears on the sides and the bangs are to mid-nose length. A little shaggy, but can keep it neat - as long as I am inside.

Just a couple of questions, if you may. * When down, is your hair a uniform length? * What is current length and ultimate goal? * It is obvious that you still maintain a "clean" cut. Is this something you do yourself or have a good stylist? * When you started, did you trim only the neckline hairs and let the "top" hairs catch up or just let it all grow at the same rate? This is the area I struggle with the most as the stylist normally wants to trim all of the hairs at the same length. The result appears somewhat layered. Personally, I think I should let the top hairs grow to reach bottom of the lower hairs then let it all grow at the same rate. I base this on not being able to pull it all back together until it can all be pulled back at once. From your experience, which obviously worked well, was this the best approach? * How best did you deal with the first warm, humid summer during the "bad hair phase"? Not long enough to pull back when working outdoors, yet too long to keep under a hat. This has been the most annoying part to date (other than the hairs need to "flip out" over my collar, until it got a little longer so I could dry "rolled under"). Hair spray makes feels to sticky and attracts the bugs, gel makes it feel like "helmet head" and when, I wear my glasses instead of contacts, sweat constantly drips on the lens. While not possible in all instances, I may try a bandana under the hat. Any other tips? * For work, I use a Thermasilk spray to get an initial hold in the morning. This lasts a few hours only. Anything heavier gives a plastered look. Carrying a bottle of hairspray into work and the restrooms for touchups looks a bit "strange". Are there better methods to maintain control during this phase?

Again, I want to say that this is a letter is 100% straight. No "other" overtones are implied. Just one person commenting to another for a great look. Thanks for providing a service to those of us that are trying to grow their hair out, especially in an era that perceives long hair on guys as "fem" or morally wrong. Answer if you want, understand if not. Either way, thanks!

Dennis Via

(Sorry to ramble on - it is habit I am trying to improve on!)

My hair isn't a uniform length. I'll probably let it grow to terminal length, though I may trim it enough for a neat look at the ends. The only hair I cut myself is just behind the ears. I let all hairs grow at the same rate. When I was at that stage I let it hang loose and suffered, but if I had to go through it again I'd probably go for the wet, plastered look -- it would be so much more convenient. I don't have any additional ideas. Good luck with your hair!

4/30/99:

I am trying to cut away the unhealthy hair in the back as I grow the rest long. I have 3/4 way up ear buzzed and hair line behind the ears reduced. What did you do. By pic. of your ponytail you didn't just grow all of back long. some areas are not part of the pony tail. also, WHen I do try a ponytail, WHy do the last inch or so go in a million zillion different directions instead of a straight neat longing ponytail.thanks.

Peter R.

My hair was very short all over when I started growing it 2 1/2 years ago, and aside from a very minor trim early on, and trimming sideburn hair at the ears, it hasn't been cut since then. So, the hairs that originate near the base of my neck hang down a foot or two lower than hairs that originate near the top front of my head. Also, I don't think the hairs in the thinning area at the top grow as fast, and they definately fall out (and grow back) more often (a shorter growth cycle). Also, there is some downy hair around the base of the neck that never grows more than an inch or two, but I don't cut it.

For your other question, I'd suggest the men's long hair forum mentioned on my long hair page.

2/9/99:

hey, nice sight. i;ve been growing my hair out for a little while now, and its just gotten long enough to tuck behind my ears. I can't get a job anywhere so far, people descriminate against me so much. i live in mississippi, by the way. funny, these people claim to be christians but forget christ had long hair. hmm.

Jerry Barr

Sorry to hear about the discrimination. Have you tried temp agencies?

Maybe keeping your hair slicked back and in a neat little ponytail would work better in Mississippi?

Do you have facial hair? If so, have you thought going clean-shaven, even shaving the sideburns? I do; I like to think of it as a way to help conservative people feel a bit less uncomfortable with my long hair. After all, it's a lot easier to grow facial hair whenever you want.

And what about clothes? I try to dress a bit neater than average -- another way to help certain people feel a bit more comfortable with me.

9/25/98:

I saw your homepage just a few minutes ago and I saw some improvements on your long hair page. I saw your new pics and I think they're just great. If I compare these pics of septemeber with those of may I can really see growing your hair out. ( sorry for my broken English, I'm Dutch ya know ? ) But I've got a question for you. I'm thinking of letting my hair grow out, but my parents say that it doesn't fit to me. I'm not kinda person for it they say. I do not agree with them and we've had a lot of arguments about this subject for the last months. What do you think ? ( according to the pic ) Can I have long hair ? And what do I have to do with it ? You're homepage says : " do not go to a barber ! " But I think it's gonna be a mess when you don't gow to the barber's. My hair is pretty thick, but not to thick. And as you can see I've got dark blond hair. I really hope you've got some advices for me. Because I really think I should have the same haircut as you have. And what kinda hairstyle do you recommend ? Everywhere long hair, or just long at the back and shaved at both sides. What kinda style fits to me do you think ?

Mike ter Hoeven
Holland

Your English is fine. Certainly far better than my Dutch. :-)

I think you'd look great with long hair. But I agree that if your parents say you must cut it, and if you are legally required to do as they say.......

I'm not sure what to suggest other than wait until you can legally make your own decision. But here are some ideas:

-- Ask them to let you give it a try for a certain period of time, say 6 months, and the end of which you promise to cut it if they wish. Of course, that isn't enough time for it to grow long. But if you have your hair trimmed to look neat as it grows out during those 6 months, perhaps they will get used to it enough that, at the end of the 6 months, you can persuade them to try another 6 months. And then another 6 months, and so on until you are old enough to legally make your own decision.

-- Your hair looks like the current fashion, which is very short in the back. Mine was too, until I started growing it out. Instead, choose a hairstyle that, while not really long, is not so very short either. You won't look like the fashion slaves, but then if you are considering growing your hair long you probably aren't too concerned about looking like the fashion slaves, which is a good thing. Once your hair grows to the new chosen style, ask again about growing it out. You'll look closer then to what you wouild look like with it long, so perhaps your parents will see you differently and reconsider. But even if they don't, you would have made progress in growing your hair for when you are old enough to make your own decision.

It's hard for me to answer the question about long everywhere or short on the sides and long in the back (called "mullet"), because I personally don't care for the "mullet" look. On women, I do like short bangs with long everywhere else; I think that looks really cute. But on men, I personally find that long everywhere looks best. Of course, that is only my personal preference, but it does make it difficult for me to answer your question.

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